Gal Galaxy Pain

Genre: Arcade / Misc.

Players: 1

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Review:

Gal Galaxy Pain, released on Nintendo 3DS in late 2021, is one of the final games to see release on the Nintendo 3DS eShop, and it is… a very odd game. Picture a game like Typing of the Dead, where you are entering the answers to prompts into a keyboard, which interprets that into the action of the game. Only, there’s no keyboard here, only a touchscreen approximating a 10-key numerical pad. And instead of zombies, this game has representations of falling meteorites threatening civilization, and instead of a silly story about zombies, you have so much angst.

One of the elements making Gal Galaxy Pain so bizarre is its presentation. From what I can tell, you are taking the role of a woman in charge of the technology protecting Earth’s population from annihilation by meteorite, and she is apparently getting really, really sick of her role, writing long diatribes about how worthless humanity is and how much she just wants it all to end. This is all conveyed through paragraphs upon paragraphs of text in between levels.

In addition to the text, the game’s menus have photos of electronic equipment, photos of a woman apparently in anguish, and the actual gameplay itself is represented purely by numbers falling down a screen, with no color or artistic flair whatsoever. Surprisingly, this game’s rhythmic electronic soundtrack is actually surprisingly good, which runs counter to the extremely low-fi visuals.

Unfortunately, while some may find the presentation to be so odd that it’s fascinating, the gameplay here is just plain dull. Type numbers into the touchscreen before those falling numbers get to the bottom of the screen. That’s about it. Disappointingly, as dull as this is, even this is undermined by how fast these numbers fall right from the beginning, making for an extremely sharp difficulty curve right from the start.

I suppose, for a game that only costs $0.50, Gal Galaxy Pain might be worth getting as a curiosity, but it isn’t worth getting as an actual game. The gameplay is simple, dull, and paradoxically has an absurd difficulty spike early on. Unless you have a fondness for unusual bad games, skip this one.

tl;dr – Gal Galaxy Pain is a bizarre game with Arcade-style elements where players type numbers in the touchscreen keypad to fend off said falling numbers. This is surrounded by an odd, angsty story in a presentation that’s just strange. Collectors of oddities may find this game’s low $0.50 price may be worth it, but most will find the gameplay too dull (and oddly, with an absurd difficulty spike early on). It’s probably better if you save your $0.50.

Grade: D

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