Robot Squad Simulator 2017

Genre: Machine Simulation

Players: 1

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Review:

Robot Squad Simulator is a Machine Simulator that has you controlling various robots of the sort that are used to navigate hazardous environments or defuse bombs. Players can gradually unlock and upgrade these units as they complete missions.

As presentation goes, this game has visuals that are fine but nothing special, and sound that is pretty terrible – the music is horribly repetitive, and sound effects that are not at all impressive and are very poorly-implemented. In the opening tutorial, for example, the sounds of fire can be heard at the same volume regardless of whether you’re standing nowhere near the fire or right next to it. And while normally I would find this game’s presentation to be sub-standard, the fact that this game demands a sizeable 3.6GB of memory space is outright ridiculous.

Sadly, the gameplay here doesn’t do anything to make up for the problems with presentation. Starting with terribly clunky game menus, when you actually get into the game you’ll find the controls extremely unintuitive, fiddly and awkward, especially when trying to do more subtle movements. Simply trying to move a mechanical arm to pick up a cube is a maddeningly frustrating process that takes far too long and at multiple points during the way too long process to do something so stupidly simple, it had me running into countless other issues the game had.

Objects in the game slide through one another, clipping into each others’ polygons. Hell, your stupid robot won’t even sit still while you’re trying to do this delicate work, and heaven help you if you need to interact with something on the ground next to a wall.

The concept behind Robot Squad Simulator is a sound one, and actually controlling a bomb defusal robot seems like it could make for a unique and interesting premise for a game, but Robot Squad Simulator ruins that concept in just about every conceivably way. The controls are terrible, the menus are terrible, the physics are terrible, the sound is terrible, the graphics are sub-par, and for all of this the game wants to take up 3.6GB of your memory. No. No! Bad robot! Bad!

tl;dr – Robot Squad Simulator is a Machine Simulation game that has you controlling machines like bomb defusal robots in hazardous situations. Unfortunately, just about everything about this game is terrible, from awkward and fiddly controls, terrible in-game physics, busted menus, sub-par graphics and sound, and an overly-large file size. Do not buy this game.

Grade: F

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