Pirates: All Aboard!

Genre: Compilation / Top-Down Auto-Runner / Arcade / Party Game

Players: 1-4 Competitive (Local Split-Screen)

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Review:

Pirates: All Aboard!, released on Nintendo Switch in 2018, is a Compilation of two distinctly different types of games. In single-player mode, this is a Top-Down Auto-Runner that has you piloting a ship while weaving between obstacles and collecting coins, and in multiplayer this is an Arcade-style Party Game where players navigate their ships and use their gunfire to try and take out competitors.

These two distinct game types aren’t clearly marked – if you were judging purely based on the menus, you might expect these two modes to be different versions of the same thing. However, the two game modes play completely differently, control differently, and even feature different graphics.

In both cases, these games use simple 3D visuals that work well enough but aren’t especially impressive in any way. I will note one graphical oddity – in multiplayer, turning your ship causes it to tilt to an absurd, almost cartoonish degree. These visuals are backed by a completely forgettable soundtrack and uninspired sounds.

For the gameplay itself, the weaker link here is the Auto-Runner single-player endless mode. This mode doesn’t do anything especially new or interesting for the genre, is extremely unforgiving to the point where one hit will end your run, and the hit detection is terrible. Even as lazy Auto-Runners go, this is pretty bad.

The multiplayer mode fares a bit better here, but also fails to do anything particularly special. It works well enough, but it’s simple, uninspired, and there’s so little depth to this mode that you’ll tire of it soon enough.

So that’s Pirates: All Aboard!: two simple, uninspired games that share little beyond a theme, mashed together into one bland package you’ll quickly grow bored with. I suppose if you can get it when it regularly goes on sale for $2 you might get a little amusement out of it, but you’re much better off saving your $2 and putting it towards something more memorable.

tl;dr – Pirates: All Aboard! Is a Compilation of a single-player Top-Down Auto-Runner where players move a ship through obstacles, and a multiplayer Arcade-style Party Game where players navigate their ships trying to sink each other. Both modes are bland and uninspired, and the single-player mode is even worse due to an unforgiving challenge level and poor hit detection. In the end, this game (or pair of games) isn’t without some enjoyment to be had, but you’re much better off getting something else instead.

Grade: C-

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