Please the Gods

Genre: Board Game

Players: 1

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Review:

Please the Gods is a Board Game with some aesthetic elements of Card Games and some RPG elements. This game was released on PC in 2019 and Nintendo Switch in 2020. This game has the player taking the role of a warrior running errands for various gods in a valley to try to obtain the three pieces of a legendary artifact said to bring wealth and prosperity.

Please the Gods uses pixel art visuals for its characters that aren’t very appealing – the designs aren’t what I would consider to be especially great, they aren’t well-animated, and they’re a bit lacking when it comes to having a distinct personality to them. These visuals are backed by a minimalist soundtrack with a dour tone, underlining the deadly serious nature of the game, but making for a depressing experience.

As for the gameplay, this game generally boils down to a series of encounters, most of which are battles resolved by taking turns attacking and defending, using a combination of dice to determine your attack or defense and cards to augment those dice rolls, choosing to roll more dice now for an attack at the expense of fewer dice left over for defense, or vice versa. As such, gameplay here is largely about deciding when to be more aggressive or defensive.

Despite the relatively simple mechanics of this game, they are poorly-explained, and the way the game depicts what’s happening makes matters worse. Newer players will undoubtedly be frustrated when they think they’re setting aside a die for later use, only to see that die doesn’t appear to be added to their next roll. It doesn’t help that this game’s default difficulty level is very challenging (although there is thankfully an easy mode). However, I think more experienced players will also find this game to be frustrating, as so much of the gameplay depends on luck, even with skilled use of the cards to mitigate this luck factor.

The game is also somewhat deceptive about what it actually is. Players gradually gain access to more “cards” when they “level up”, but both of these elements are not what players may think of when it comes to these mechanics, as players can only ever use two sets of 4 cards at a time, and those cards are always available to the player – the only randomization here is the dice. What’s more, “leveling up” doesn’t improve your character’s attack or defense, it only gives you access to new cards, and they are not necessarily better ones either, just different. And while there is something of a RPG-style story here and players can choose different paths to complete goals, the lack of any actual character progression keeps this from playing like an RPG, even if the game wants to appear to be one.

Even if you’re hoping for a good game that’s mostly focused on dice and not cards or RPG elements, Please the Gods is likely to disappoint. Its depressing tone, poorly-explained mechanics, and the major element luck plays in the gameplay all combine to make for a game that’s just not satisfying to play. And if you wanted a card game or an RPG, you’ll be doubly disappointed.

tl;dr – Please the Gods is a Board Game masquerading as both a Card Game and an RPG, but really the focus here is on dice rolls, and mitigating good or bad rolls by using different options represented by cards. However, regardless of what type of game you wanted here, Please the Gods is a tedious, depressing experience. Its morose tone and poorly-explained mechanics make it a hard game to get into, and the huge role luck plays in the gameplay means that even once you get into it you’re unlikely to find much enjoyment in it. Skip this one.

Grade: D

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