Doctor Hospital: Hypochondriac Simulator

Genre: Arcade

Players: 1

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Review:

Doctor Hospital, released on Nintendo Switch in 2022, is an Arcade-style game where players take the role of a hypochondriac evidently trying to lie their way through a series of rapid-fire questions from skeptical medical personnel. How this plays out is that players are given an endless series of multiple-choice questions, and must answer them before a timer runs out. However, questions will be repeated, and players will get a game over the moment they answer a question inconsistently.

This timer takes what was a clever idea, and pretty much destroys any fun the game could have with it. Right from the start, it’s super-fast, and many players will undoubtedly find that they don’t have enough time to read the question and answers before the timer runs out. Frustratingly, the game doesn’t make players stick to any kind of logic with their answers – there’s nothing here that requires reading comprehension or any sort of understanding just what you’re saying in response to questions, you need only ensure you’re consistent to keep from having your game end.

This is made more difficult by the fact that the game seems to occasionally want to act like you tapped the button repeatedly, making you answer an additional question with whatever the cursor defaulted to, generally resulting in a loss. This takes a game that already feels like its starting speed is too fast and makes it feel like it’s designed to just occasionally cause you to lose through no fault of your own. Oh, and don’t expect the touchscreen to be an answer here either – this game doesn’t support it.

Don’t look for the presentation to save this game in any way, either. This game presents players with simple hand-drawn 2D images of medical staff in front of a generic hospital corridor, backed by random hospital noises with no music. It’s a perfectly serviceable presentation, but not one that’s going to elevate a game, and certainly not one that will save it.

Doctor Hospital is a frustrating disappointment of a game, one with a fun and unique premise, but one that ruins that premise with shallow, poorly thought-out, overly-tough and at times outright unfair gameplay. Even with its low $3 price tag, this game is not worth getting.

tl;dr – Doctor Hospital is an Arcade-style game where players are trying to lie their way through a hospital visit, trying to respond to rapid-fire questions while keeping their answers consistent. It’s a fun concept that’s absolutely ruined by poorly-crafted gameplay with an overly-zealous timer and self-destructive controls. Not even worth the small $3 price tag.

Grade: D-

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This game has been nominated for one or more of eShopperReviews 2022 Game Awards:

Runner-Up: The “Why is this taking so much space on my memory card!?” Award (713MB)

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