Chinese Parents

Genre: Simulation / RPG / Puzzle / Misc.

Players: 1

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Review:

Chinese Parents is a game that was originally released on PC in 2018 and ported to the Nintendo Switch in 2020, and it is… a bit difficult to describe… but I’m gonna’ try. At its core, this game is essentially a Simulation of the development of a child (a child of Chinese parents, thus the title), with players deciding what activities that child will spend time on, from simple activities as a baby like “rolling over”, with players later deciding whether the child will play in the park to relieve stress or study math to increase their IQ. Those activities affect various stats much like an RPG. There are also elements of the game that play out like a Puzzle game, and even “personality test”-style questions. Yeah, this game is an odd mishmash of different elements tossed into a blender.

The presentation here is similarly quirky, as the game’s art style apparently develops as your child does, with things starting out as crude drawings when they’re a baby, and gradually becoming more detailed and skilled in their depiction as the game goes on. There’s not much sound in the game, but there is a plucky soundtrack backing everything up, giving the game a peaceful lighthearted tone.

For the gameplay itself, I am really torn here. On the one hand, I definitely appreciate that this game is doing something really unique and clever, and I appreciate that there’s a good number of complex systems that tie into one another to provide players with a challenge in determining how best to go about developing their child. When this game works, it’s engaging and a fascinating exercise in resource management.

The problem is, the localization here is pretty bad, and a lot of the elements are either poorly-explained, or explained in a way that doesn’t quite make sense, at least not to my dumb, “I only speak English” person. What is Pinyin? What is Gaokao? What does the “Face” stat represent? Some of these questions are eventually answered through play, but through much of the game you’ll find yourself with questions like these, and it’s frustrating that the game apparently didn’t receive a once-over by someone whose first language is English.

Also frustrating are the game’s optional touchscreen controls, which don’t seem to be working quite properly, as sometimes it takes multiple touches to register a selection. It’s a shame, because this is a game that seems ideal for touchscreen use, but I suppose at the very least the traditional controls are mostly okay… except when you need to select a part of the screen that doesn’t have a button shortcut attached to it.

There’s one other issue that I feel deserves mention here. Despite featuring extremely simple graphics and no voice acting, this game still takes up nearly 1GB of space in your MicroSD card, which strikes me as far more than this game should require to do what it does. Just something to be aware of if you’re getting this game.

I’m really frustrated with Chinese Parents, because I feel like there’s a really great and unique game here, but it’s buried under a poor localization and interface control issues. As it stands, this game still might be worth a look if you’re curious to try something offbeat and original, but if you do, be sure to bring a healthy dose of patience along with you.

tl;dr – Chinese Parents is an unusual Simulation game with a mishmesh of various elements that has you guiding the development of a child of Chinese parents. It’s a really original concept, and there are some interesting gameplay ideas here, but they’re marred by a poor localization and control interface issues. This game may still be worth a look, but only if you have the patience to look past its problems.

Grade: C+

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This game has been nominated for one or more of eShopperReviews 2020 Game Awards:

Runner-Up: Most Original, The “Why is this taking so much space on my memory card!?” Award

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