Chocobo GP

Genre: Kart Racing

Players: 1-2 Competitive (Local Split-Screen), 2-8 Competitive (Local Wireless, Online, Online Tournament)

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Review:

WARNING: THIS GAME HEAVILY PUSHES MICROTRANSACTIONS

Chocobo GP is a Kart Racing game released on Nintendo Switch in 2022 that follows in the footsteps Chocobo Racing, released on the original PlayStation in 1999. This game features cartoony, chibi versions of various Final Fantasy series characters racing on cartoony versions of various locales from throughout the series.

The presentation here is technically excellent, with silky-smooth framerates and clear resolutions, with nicely detailed and colorful courses, and extremely well-animated characters. Some of the levels here are quite imaginative too, such as a race track on an otherworldly crystal debris field, and a course based on Final Fantasy VI’s shady city of Zozo.

Having said that, there are some issues here. Namely, while there’s a good variety in the courses themselves, within those courses they can often feel somewhat samey, making it harder to get a good feel for anticipating the next turn. Another issue is the soundtrack, which remixes various classic Final Fantasy themes, but the versions here are goofy and childish in ways that undercut their nostalgia value, something only added to by the chibi-esque designs of the characters. People like to deride Mario for being “for kids”, but it feels positively mature compared to this game.

Mechanically, Chocobo GP builds on the typical kart racing formula with some interesting ideas. Players still have the standard timed start mechanic, as well as a drift-boost mechanic, but the weapons in this game can now be powered-up by acquiring more than one of the same kind. In addition, each racer has their own unique ability, giving players even more reason to pay attention to this element beyond that racer’s different stats.

However, there are issues here too. Powering up a specific weapon type means aiming for only a specific type of power-up balloon (there are three, and only one type guarantees getting the same weapon again), something that’s often not very feasible in the middle of a heated race. In fact, races in this game can be ridiculously frenetic, with weapons going off all over the place in addition to numerous stage hazards, all on courses that feel somewhat constrained and claustrophobic.

And the issue with the special abilities is that the controls in this game are pretty terrible – players only get three options, and none of them feels quite right. By default, players must press A to accelerate, B to brake, R to jump/drift, and Y to use the special ability, requiring players to stretch a contorted finger past the brake button and the X rear view command. Why this game doesn’t allow players to reassign these buttons as they see fit is beyond me, especially since none of the three setups allow players to put the accelerate and brake where racing games traditionally have them – ZR and ZL.

There is another issue we need to address here, and that is how aggressively this game pushes microtransactions. Multiple currencies, season passes, and plenty of content locked behind these microtransactions in a full-priced kids’ game.

Which kinda’ gets me wondering just who this game was meant for. The chibi-esque visuals and frenetic gameplay pegs this as a kids’ game, but the deep cut Final Fantasy references and heavy push for players to pay would arguably make more sense for older players. In the end, I can’t imagine this game being especially appropriate for either.

That’s not to say Chocobo GP is bad. The core gameplay here is quite good, and it is backed by solid visuals. But it’s hard to feel enthusiastic about this game when the gameplay is so volatile, the controls so limited and frustrating, the presentation so disgustingly childish, and the microtransactions so overbearing. If you’re looking for a decent Kart Racer to add to your collection on Nintendo Switch, this isn’t a terrible choice, but you have multiple better ones. I’d suggest you stick with those.

tl;dr – Chocobo GP is a Kart Racing game that has players controlling various chibi-esque Final Fantasy characters on colorful race tracks. The visuals and core gameplay here is excellent, but the volatile nature of the races, the terrible controls, and the absurd microtransactions really sour the experience, and the childish presentation isn’t likely to appeal to most players either. This isn’t a terrible game, but it’s hard to recommend when there are multiple better choices.

Grade: C+

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This game has been nominated for one or more of eShopperReviews 2022 Game Awards:

Winner:

Worst Microtransactions – Microtransactions frequently make a videogame worse, but it’s particularly depressing when they outright ruin what would have otherwise been a great game. For Square Enix to load this game up so heavily with microtransactions when it’s a full-priced game is extremely disappointing. For them to do so when it is a game clearly made with kids in mind is despicable. This could have been a pretty respectable Kart Racer, and instead it became a cautionary story. And Square Enix thought they could make this fly on a console… that already has Mario Kart. Recently, Square Enix threw their hands up and announced they were stripping this game of its microtransactions, but there’s little talk of rebalancing so players don’t have to grind to unlock content. This means that even when microtransactions are gone from the game, the crippling scar they left will live on.

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