Real Boxing 2

Genre: Boxing

Players: 1-2 Competitive (Local)

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Review:

(Note: This game is included in the Best Action Games 5-in-1 bundle, along with Akane, Akuto Showdown, Door Kickers, and Utopia 9 – A Volatile Vacation.)

I’m gonna’ start this review by going on a tangent – I can’t ever think of a time when it was a good sign when a game used the word “Real” in the title. Not in the thousands of games I’ve reviewed on eShopperReviews, not in the countless games I’ve played before that. Games with “Simulator” in the title have a bad rep, but at least some of those games are actual Simulation games. But no game claiming to be “Real” was ever actually real, a claim so blatantly silly on the face of it you have to wonder who they thought they were going to fool. Real Drift Racing didn’t present us with anything real, RMX Real Motocross was as far as you can get from anything real, and both of those games were also, of course, absolutely terrible.

Games that are actually realistic and actually good generally don’t feel the need to try to desperately convince you that they are. The Gran Turismo series doesn’t stick “Real” in the title, Microsoft Flight Simulator doesn’t feel the need to hype up how “Real” it is in the title. In fact, the only “Real” game I can think of to buck the trend of both being highly unrealistic and outright terrible is Rusty’s Real Deal Baseball on Nintendo 3DS, and that game used the word “Real” facetiously, like the game thought it was a big joke that you’d think anything here was “Real”.

But I digress. Okay, Real Boxing 2, show me what you’ve got.

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Okay, Seriously, Let’s Get Ready to Rumble

Real Boxing 2 was originally released on mobile devices in 2015 and ported to Nintendo Switch in 2021. As the title suggests (ha), this game is aiming to be a Simulation-style Boxing game where players build up their own custom-created fighter over the course of a career.

Graphically, Real Boxing looks… okay. The 3D visuals here are decent, but about on par with a relatively low-budget Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3 game with a higher resolution, and with very limited options when it comes to your fighter’s appearance. These visuals are certainly no match for the sort of realism you see in games from major studios. It also doesn’t help this game’s purported realism that this game completely lacks any sort of real product branding (though you’ll see “Real Boxing 2” shoot across the screen numerous times each match), as well as unconvincing crowds, an unconvincing announcer speaking over the match. There’s just none of the atmosphere of excitement you’d hope to see in a boxing match here.

However, what really hurts this game’s purported realism the most is that punches just do not seem to have any sort of weight or power behind them. The pathetic little “paf” sounds they make, along with how they barely seem to phase the guy on the receiving end, both add up to make it seem like you’re lightly brushing each other with your gloves rather than making any sort of impact.

While the presentation here is disappointing, the game mechanics are at least in theory pretty sound. Left and right analog sticks control different kinds of punches (along with ZL and ZR for jabs), and L and R control blocking and dodging, with players getting an extra moment to act when they time a dodge perfectly. If it wasn’t for the pathetic way they land, I could see how it would be really satisfying to dodge a punch and counter with a flurry of blows.

The problem here is that this game still bears the scars of the ugly microtransactions that were clearly embedded throughout the experience of the mobile version of the game. While the Nintendo Switch release of the game doesn’t have any microtransactions itself, it’s still riddled with tons of lootbox mechanics, multiple currencies, and your character is absolutely pathetic unless you grind away ay the in-game training, or spend currency to upgrade more quickly… currency that you can no longer get by spending real-world money.

As a result, you will quickly find yourself absolutely demolished by opponents that are stronger than you, have more health than you, and are faster than you. Your only real recourse is to grind, grind, grind in the training minigames here – two fairly uninspired Simon Says-style games along with one minigame that’s like a Music-Rhythm game without the music.

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Glass Jaw

I don’t know about you, but when I play a Boxing game, I want to be slamming into opponents with punches so fierce I can almost feel the hurt myself. I want to hear ecstatic crowds cheering out of control when a major punch lands. I want the fighting to have some strategy behind it where you can’t just button-mash, but have to mix-up your attacks and watch the opponent so you can respond in time to counter them.

What I don’t want is a game where I feel like the fighters have the same kind of force in their punches as a toddler. I don’t want a game where there’s absolutely no enthusiasm in the air. I don’t want a game where the winner of the fight is largely determined by how much grinding you did. I don’t want a game where you’ll spend more time playing Simon Says-style minigames far more often than you will be actually fighting. And all of those things are what you get in Real Boxing 2. The only thing “Real” about this Boxing game is the disappointment of any players hoping it would get at least something right.

tl;dr – Real Boxing 2 aims to be a Simulation-style Boxing game, but it does pretty much everything bad. There’s no weight to the punches, there’s no excitement in the crowd, and the stench of being a mobile port that was previously loaded with microtransactions is still incredibly powerful here, with players needing to spend far more time grinding with boring minigames than they’ll spend actually fighting if they want to make any progress. Do not get sucker punched by this game.

Grade: D

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