Hentai Golf

Genre: Sports (Golf)

Players: 1

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Review:

(Note: This game is included in Hentai Games Collection, along with Hentai Girls, Hentai Stars, and Hentai World.)

Hentai Golf, released on Nintendo Switch in 2023, is a Golf game featuring static images of anime-style girls in suggestive (and occasionally scantily-clad, but never nude) poses. The girls here are little more than window dressing, featured only on loading and results screens, and the rest is a simple but straightforward game of Golf, making it clear that the “Hentai” is just a cynical attempt to try to attract people in to play the Golf game… so is it worth it?

The presentation here is nothing special, with simple 3D courses that are cartoony, unrealistically colorful, and are floating in the middle of an empty void with a static skybox behind it. This is backed by a relaxed soundtrack that’s not terrible, but far from anything memorable. I suppose I should mention that the images of the anime girls are attractive, but those looking to this as a major feature should keep those expectations in check – I did say that there’s no nudity here.

As for the Golf, this is pretty mediocre stuff. The controls are awkward, the shot indicators only offer the vaguest of indication where your shots will land, and surfaces have far too little friction, meaning you may find it easier to aim for sand pits sometimes just to be sure the ball will actually stop. There’s little nuance or depth to the gameplay here, and little variety too – the game lists several locales for its courses, including beaches, mountains, deserts, and valleys, but since all take place within a featureless void, these descriptors mean absolutely nothing and all courses are just fairway, green, rough, sand pits, lakes, trees, and out-of-bound areas (the aforementioned endless void).

I should also mention that, with this being a RedDeer.Games release, this game is priced at the absurd dollar amount of $22, though of course this is just to make it look like a better deal when it goes on sale. And being a RedDeer.Games release, there’s at least 15 different versions of the game on the eShop, all just including different configurations of the game’s free DLC. Yeah, even if you don’t think using “Hentai” to attract customers, this sure as heck is.

So what we have here is a sub-par (ha) Golf game with some slapped on titillation to try to get attention (though this comes in the form of a lie), playing misleading games with the price to attract attention, and releasing numerous versions to get attention. But all of this leaves such a sour taste in my mouth, and with all the attention paid to marketing that wasn’t given to making the game actually good, I highly suggest you don’t give this game any more attention than the time it took you to read this review.

tl;dr – Hentai Golf is a Golf game that tries to titillate with attractive anime-style girls, but there’s no nudity here, the Golf game is mediocre at best, and the publisher has been playing sleazy games with the price and multiple releases to try to sucker in customers. I suggest that instead of this you play an actual good Golf game, and if you want hentai I’m sure you can find plenty elsewhere on the internet. Don’t waste money on this trash.

Grade: D

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