Cash Cow DX

Genre: Platformer / Arcade

Players: 1

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Review:

Cash Cow DX is an Arcade-style Platformer released on PC and Nintendo Switch in 2024. This game has players taking the role of an anthropomorphic cow wearing a miner’s helmet trying to reclaim his stolen moooney (ha) taken from him by a gang of pig ruffians. This has players moving through a handful of scrolling stages trying to collect all of the sparkly gems while avoiding pigs and hazards.

While this game’s charming 2D pixel art visuals, chiptune tunes, and heavily-synthesized voice clips may seem reminiscent of early Platformers, it’s not quite so unforgiving as many of those were (there’s no fall damage, for example), but this game is still extremely unforgiving. Your jumping isn’t especially great, there are plenty of enemies (including some that hunt you down relentlessly), and touching any enemy or hazard will instantly lose you a life. Plus, each new level has a new game mechanic to learn, and trying to do so will likely see you losing multiple lives as you get familiar with it.

In the end, I think Cash Cow DX has a lot of retro charm, but the high difficulty level is likely going to scare off many players. This is probably one of those games that’s just too darn cute to be this unforgiving, and while I think some players out there will probably enjoy this, I don’t think it’s the same players the presentation is likely to be appealing to.

tl;dr – Cash Cow DX is a retro-style Arcade-style Platformer where players taking the role of a cow trying to reclaim moooney taken from him by a gang of pigs. This game has some wonderful old-school charm, but it also has an old-school challenge level, which is to say this is so challenging it’s not going to be a game that will appeal to everyone, particularly those attracted by the game’s cute presentation.

Grade: C+

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