Erogods: Olympus

Genre: Arcade

Players: 1

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Review:

Erogods: Olympus is an Arcade-style Minigame collection released in 2023 on Nintendo Switch and ported to PC in 2024 with reworked art, with the Nintendo Switch version of the game apparently being removed from the eShop in 2025. Despite the title of this game having the highly-suggestive “Ero”, the Nintendo Switch version contains no nudity and only the most vaguely-implied sexual content. However, that doesn’t exactly make this a chaste and innocent game.

The main premise here is that players are playing a series of mostly Arcade-style minigames in stages themed after various Greek gods and goddesses, with the gods reimagined as female. Get to the final stage of any of the goddesses and you’ll be rewarded with… an image of that goddess in a bikini giggling as you tap the A button a bunch of times to make hearts appear.

Honestly, this is the most pathetic attempt at appealing to a target audience’s baser instincts I’ve ever seen. If this developer wanted to make a family-friendly game, they should have just made a family-friendly game. If they wanted to make an “ecchi” game, they should have just made an ecchi game – there are plenty on the eShop, and the PC version of this game actually does have nudity in it. The Nintendo Switch version, meanwhile, exists in this purgatory of being just gross enough that you’ll never want to play it in front of another human being, but also so lacking in actual perverse material that it seems unlikely that anyone will get excited by it.

Of course, this is a game, and you would at least hope that the actual gameplay is good. Alas, these are some of the worst minigames I have ever encountered.

You have a game that makes you catch the correctly-colored gemstone in an open chest you slide back and forth, but the color of the gemstone keeps changing every time a gem (correctly-colored or not) touches you, and sometimes the screen is so busy that it’s down to dumb luck whether or not you succeed, or it would be if there were any penalty for touching the wrong gemstone beyond being moved a step back from your target quota.

There’s a “Concentration/Memory”-style card game where you need to match series of cards, but there are only eight at any given time, making this exceedingly easy.

There’s a “hit the target”-style minigame where you aim a bow and arrow at passing gemstones, trying to hit the correct one. Again, absurdly easy.

There’s a “press the right button when its letter enters your circle” minigame, but the button constantly changes as you’re playing making it far more frustrating than it needs to be.

And that’s it. Four absolutely terrible minigames, and then one where you just button-mash.

Every time you want to “unlock” a new goddess, you need to spin a “wheel of fortune”-style wheel, but there’s not really any point to this – not only are the results random, but you can keep doing it, just making this a waste of time, especially when you get to the end and there’s only one to unlock, on every single space.

The static 2D background art here is at least decent, but the character art is simple and cartoony, and each character has a few brief voiced lines that they repeat over and over again (plus just giggling), and multiple characters share lines and none of them really have anything to do with these Greek gods. Ah yes, and all of this is backed by public domain music I’ve heard in countless other games before.

I cannot imagine who Erogods: Olympus is for. It’s not enticing enough to be a good “ecchi” game, but it’s embarrassingly pervy enough that it comes with all the shame of playing one. The minigames are all absolutely terrible, the game’s structure forces you to keep spinning a ridiculous wheel to unlock everything for no reason other than to waste your time. I don’t know why this game was removed from the eShop, I can only venture guesses. But I do know that not a single person is missing out, not being able to buy this game anymore.

tl;dr – Erogods: Olympus is an Arcade-style minigame collection where players play through a handful of absolutely awful minigames for the privilege of seeing amateurishly-drawn Greek goddesses giggle in a bikini. It’s not enticing enough to be worth playing for the titillation, but you’ll still feel gross playing it, and there’s not a single redeeming quality in the minigames. This game has since been removed from the eShop, and I have no idea why, but we are all better off now that it’s gone.

Grade: F

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