Snaky Snakes

Genre: Arcade

Players: 1

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Review:

Snaky Snakes, released on PlayStation 4 and Nintendo Switch in 2024, is an Arcade-style game based on… well, Snake, the classic game about a snake eating apples while avoiding walls and its own tail, a game whose roots can be traced all the way back to a 1976 Arcade game called Blockade, and probably best known for the version of the game included on Nokia cell phones in 1998. In other words, this is one of the oldest videogame formulas in existence, predating Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, and Space Invaders, to name a few. As such, the question to ask here is whether this is a good take on the formula, and what this game does to differentiate itself from the half-century of games to use this formula.

I’ll make this easy and answer both of those questions now: “No”, and “Not much”.

The presentation in Snaky Snakes is extremely simple, using blocky 3D visuals with low-resolution textures that almost seem voxel-like (akin to games like Minecraft), seen from an overhead view. Players can unlock different themes, but these all act pretty much the same. And these visuals are backed by repetitive music that doesn’t loop properly – it fades out and starts up again. Not exactly impressive stuff, here.

Despite the unimpressive visuals, the game doesn’t even do one of the basic things players come to expect from Snake games – you cannot see the entire play area on one screen, with players having to scroll and hope that they correctly remembered where obstacles (and their own tail) are.

However, I’m getting ahead of myself, and there’s a whole laundry list of problems in this game, starting with the fact that it only allows you to play using Joy-Con controllers, no Pro-style controllers allowed, despite that nothing in the game makes use of the Joy-Cons’ unique features. Heck, the game doesn’t even let you use buttons for movement, restricting you to only the analog stick, despite that the controls here are only 8-way digital controls. yet oddly, despite this, movement is not grid-based, despite the play area looking like a grid, meaning that precise movement can be difficult, while still being rigid. What’s more, your snake has a turning radius that means that even if you turn well before a wall, you still might slam into it. Plus, the apples that you need to eat float in the air in a way that makes it difficult to tell where their precise location is.

That’s quite a lot of stuff that’s gone wrong with a game that arguably hit its stride on Nokia phones a quarter-century ago, and adding insult to injury is the game’s absurd $7 price tag, though naturally it regularly goes on sale for $2. But even at $2, this still feels like a rip-off, a terrible version of a game that you can easily find a zillion versions of on your smartphone for free. In short, do not buy Snaky Snakes.

tl;dr – Snaky Snakes is an Arcade-style game that’s a version of the classic game Snake, but it does nothing interesting with that well-worn game formula, or even do it well. In short, it’s a terrible take on an extremely old game that’s overpriced. Don’t buy it.

Grade: D

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